I’m heading off to my Grandma’s house this weekend and so my husband is holding down the fort. I’m really looking forward to a plane ride without children. Bring on a layover; I don’t care!
One of the things I am excited to do while wedged back in Coach, is to finish reading Parenting Teens with Love and Logic by Foster Cline and Jim Fay. Yes, I know I do not have teenagers, but this was the first Love and Logic book our library had available to check out. I’m way down on the hold list for the rest of them.
This book on teenagers however, is so amazing that I have actually gone and purchased it to keep off of Amazon. I want to read it again and again, and next time use a highlighter. I also want my husband to read it, after I’ve written all of my little notes in the margins. I guess I better order the book for younger children too…
One of the major subjects of Parenting Teens with Love and Logicis how to not argue with your teenagers, and the ways you can change your communication styles to avoid power struggles and no-win situations. The book suggests that parents talk in a way that emphasizes what the parent will do, not what the teen should do. Example: “I will serve you dinner after you have showered,” instead of “Take a shower right now!”
The authors also make a clear case for what they call an “inverted triangle.” When kids are little they should be have very few choices. As kids grow up, the authors say that we should give kids more and more control over their own life, because the purpose of parenting is to raise adults who can think for themselves, not adults who do things because they are afraid of what their parents might say. I wasn’t an authoritative-style parent to begin with, but the triangle idea still made me think.
Every time I read another chapter in this book my mind starts opening up a little bit more, and I see new ways I can improve how I interact with my kids. Previously I was a Positive Discipline devote, both at home and in the classroom. Love and Logic seems similar, but better. I’ve tried a lot of the communication changes and they really work. Wow!
P.S. For those of you have read any of the Love and Logic books, I hope you enjoyed my little joke in the title of this post. 🙂